


Full Circle

by yodepalma



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: First Kiss, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff and Angst, Introspection, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Not Beta Read, Post-Kingdom Hearts II, Romance, Wordcount: 1.000-3.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-11
Updated: 2015-09-11
Packaged: 2018-04-20 05:17:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4775063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yodepalma/pseuds/yodepalma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Riku talks to Roxas, and the world rights itself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Full Circle

**Author's Note:**

> So apparently this is the first fanfic I ever wrote in the Kingdom Hearts fandom, completed not long after I beat Kingdom Hearts II for the first time. It's...actually not as bad as I remember it being? Kind of impressed, actually, even if my old obsession with italics and hyphens is readily apparent.

_Full Circle_

When Riku was younger, he was sure that he'd liked Kairi. He fought Sora for her, got himself locked in Kingdom Hearts for her, allowed himself to be possessed by the darkness _for her_. Sora had always wanted Kairi as well, of course, and that may have been why Riku misplaced his affections-not because he was that jealous of Sora (which he was, though not for the right reasons), but because he was jealous of her and the way she instantly stole all of Sora's attention from him. It had always been Sora-and-Riku before, two inseparable boys, and then it was Sora and Kairi and Riku, the best of friends and an agonizing love triangle. 

Then Riku had to fight for himself, to get home, and he grew up. He realized the truth. He'd been in denial all that time because Kairi was a girl, and he'd wanted to be normal just as much as he'd wanted to get off the islands. Wanting Kairi was normal. Wanting Sora was an abomination. But wandering in darkness had a way of shedding light on the parts of yourself you never wanted to believe in, and after a while it was impossible to make himself believe that he liked the proper best friend. So his mission changed: from wanting to get back to continue the friendly rivalry with Sora to get Kairi's hand, he simply wanted to get back to Sora and try to get the boy's attention back where it really belonged. On Riku. 

Then there was Castle Oblivion, and DiZ, and the fight against Roxas, and he wore the face of evil and knew he could never be seen again. Not by Sora, not by Kairi, not by _anyone_. He shuttered the windows to his soul, hid his face behind the hood of an Organization member, and fought now for a love that could never be returned...or even discovered. He tried to avoid Sora at first, but that didn't last for long. Sora needed his help—Sora _always_ needed his help—dand damned if his cowardice would get in the way of providing it. So he helped anonymously, never saying a word when he didn't have to, and yet Sora somehow knew it was him. And Sora was focused on finding him, on being with him, and Riku was breathless at the younger boy's intensity, and thrilled by the feeling of being chased. 

But in the end, it was all in vain. They nearly died together, were stranded on the shores of a world that was never meant to be, and Riku was so close to having Sora all to himself again, to being able to tell Sora what he really felt behind all the jealousy and rivalry, and then Kairi had interrupted and he knew it was never meant to be. Sora was happy with him. Sora shined both inside and out when he was with Kairi, Kairi whose heart had hidden itself inside Sora's body, Kairi who was everything Riku could never be even if 'everything' mostly equated to being female. He resigned himself to being the third wheel, always watching Sora from afar, and letting life return to normal (or as normal as it could be with how much everything had changed). 

It wasn't long before it was truly Sora-and-Kairi with Riku on the side, the darkness behind their brilliant light, and Riku had forced himself to be content even if his heart twisted painfully every time Sora smiled just at him. 

But one day, Roxas came out. 

It hadn't been obvious at first. The three of them were lounging on the shore of their island staring at the stars, and Sora-and-Kairi had fallen asleep. Sora, ever restless, had been twitching and turning as always, and Riku had been watching him fondly until Sora sat up so suddenly that he had to stifle a gasp. Riku had reached out, hesitant to speak for some reason, and then Sora looked at him and it wasn't really Sora. The eyes were too cold—too _blue_ somehow, despite the fact that the color hadn't changed at all. 

"...Roxas?" he questioned hesitantly. He'd thought the blond boy had merged with Sora completely, but he must have been wrong. Sora never had eyes like that, even at his angriest. 

"Riku." It was Roxas' voice, and it sounded distinctly wrong coming from his best friend's mouth. "This is new." 

"Where's Sora?" Riku asked harshly, frightened for his friend. If Roxas was back, didn't that mean that something bad had happened? Was it at all possible that somehow Roxas had taken complete control of Sora, and now the Somebody would be trapped like an outsider in his own body? 

"Relax," Roxas said softly, and Riku had to listen because the voice wasn't filled with either the anger or the apathy Roxas had used to have. "He's asleep. This happens sometimes, if I wake up before Sora does. I have...nightmares a lot. Seems like I take them in Sora's stead." 

"But...why aren't you just Sora now? I thought you were finally one." 

"Now that I've existed, I don't know if it's possible for me to ever really go back. I don't mind. It's better than the alternative. And Sora...he doesn't really know." 

"But—"

"It's like having multiple personalities. I'm his Other, the dark side of him that isn't meant to see the light. I keep myself to myself mostly, and he doesn't notice that I'm in here still. Don't worry about it, Riku. I'm not going to come out in the middle of the day unless Sora falls asleep in class or something. I just couldn't sleep any more after dreaming about Axel." Roxas pulled his knees to his chest and laid his head on them. There was a sadness in the ice of his eyes, now, something that made Riku's heart twist painfully because it was set in Sora's face. "I miss him. I never realized...never knew how much I..." 

Riku wrapped an arm around not-Sora's shoulders and leaned against the younger boy, unable to see him depressed. "It's alright," he said automatically, forcing himself not to care that it wasn't really Sora he was talking to. It was a part of Sora, and that ought to be good enough for him. "Maybe you'll see him again some day. You'll just—"

"Axel's dead," Roxas returned shortly in cold exasperation. "He's gone for good, and I need to let go of him. Loving somebody doesn't make everything possible." 

"Loving Sora made everything possible for me," Riku said quietly, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead into the spiky brunet hair beside him. "I got him back. Him, the islands, and Kairi. I dispelled the darkness inside of me, became _myself_ again. Axel might not have been a keyblade bearer, but I'm sure wherever he is—and I know he still exists somewhere, don't you dare tell me otherwise—he hasn't given up his search for you." 

Roxas pulled away from him harshly, moving over to where the tide was coming in. Riku followed, bemused and wanting to know more about Roxas and Axel's friendship. He stood beside the shorter boy quietly, watching the waves break on the shore and remembering the days when he'd thought desperately of leaving the islands and finding something more out there. He didn't want that something more now. Part of him even wanted Kairi to go back to where she'd come from, if only so Riku could have Sora to himself, but that was the dark side of him that he refused to listen to. Kairi was as much a part of this world as he and Sora had ever been. 

He wondered what Roxas—with all his troubles, with the memory of Axel—wanted. To have never existed? Could it be possible to wish oblivion on yourself? 

"Axel...was more than a best friend to me," Roxas admitted finally, so soft that Riku had to strain to hear him. "I remember a few times when we'd stay up all night talking, and ended up falling asleep together—sometimes in his bed, sometimes in mine. One time, we were tangled together when we woke up. I tried to pull away, but Axel wouldn't let go. I remember wondering why he was looking at me so strangely, remember wondering how that look had managed to freeze me in place, and that I'd noticed for the first time then just how green his eyes were. I didn't understand at all until he rolled me onto my back and started kissing me, touching me so fast that I knew he was trying to memorize every inch of my body before I came to my senses and castrated him. And I knew I should have, something in me wanted so badly to...but I couldn't lie to myself. Axel made me feel like I was real in a way that nobody else possibly could. So I gave myself over to Axel and he told me...told me that he didn't need Kingdom Hearts anymore because he'd already _found_ his heart." 

"Why are you telling me this?" Riku asked, and didn't like how choked his voice sounded. 

"Because Sora feels the same way about you that I felt about Axel. He loves Kairi, but you make him feel complete. If you touched him—"

"I'm not going to force myself on him!" Riku snapped, angry that Roxas could believe him capable of such a thing now. "Don't you think I've done enough to him?" 

"I'm not telling you to _make_ him do anything," Roxas snarled back. "I'm telling you to let him _know_. Telling him you love him won't help; you know that as well as I do. You have to show him, or he'll deny his feelings until the day he dies. Don't let go of your heart, Riku, not like Axel did. Not like I did. In the long run, letting go of him will be more painful—to both of you—than any minor amount of pain you might put him through now. Sora loves you even after you tried to kill him; if that isn't enough proof for you, than I don't know what is." 

"Roxas, please—"

"You're as dense as Sora is sometimes," Roxas said in his most apathetic voice, and for a moment Riku saw _through_ Sora, saw the blond boy's shimmering form under Sora's transparent body, and he jerked away sharply, startled, and then there was just one solid body again. 

It was Sora. He'd woken up, Roxas was gone back to wherever it was he spent his time, and the brunet was dazed and staring around himself in utter confusion, until his eyes landed on Riku and he grinned as he stretched, reaching for the sky. 

"Sora!" Riku gasped, staring. 

"Riku," Sora returned simply, and pouted up at the taller boy. "Why do you look like you've just seen a ghost? Are you okay?" 

"You...came out of nowhere," Riku said faintly. Sora stared at him, innocently curious and more than a little concerned. Riku's breath caught in his throat when Sora moved a step closer, leaning forward and placing a gentle hand on his arm, and opened his mouth to speak. Riku gulped, thought for a split second about what Roxas had said—Roxas who knew Sora perhaps even better than Sora knew himself, Roxas who _was_ Sora in every way that counted, who had loved another man even without a heart—and choked out something that bore resemblance to the phrase "I'm sorry!" before he leaned over and caught Sora's lips with his own in a desperate kiss. He let his hands slide slowly down Sora's sides, refusing his need to take everything he could like Axel had, because Sora wouldn't have been able to deal with that, because _he_ had a heart and a conscience. He waited nervously for Sora to push him away, but when that didn't happen he wrapped his arms around Sora and pulled the shorter boy against his body. Sora whimpered into the embrace and fisted his hands in the front of Riku's shirt until Riku pulled away. 

"Riku?" Sora asked, voice shaking and eyes wide. Riku couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Sora look so uncertain and vulnerable, and he ran a hand up Sora's back until his fingers were in Sora's hair and his thumb against the other's cheek. 

"I just wanted to let you know how I felt," he said softly, giving Sora the best smile he could when he was expecting a vehement denial from his friend. "I probably shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry." He tried to disengage himself and gather what was left of his dignity, cursing Roxas with every second that passed, but Sora didn't let go. Riku stared at him, uncomprehending, and then Sora gave him his uncertain-but-determined look and moved his surprisingly large hands into Riku's hair. "Sora, you..." 

"Thank you," Sora murmured, before surging forward and reinitiating the kiss. Riku gasped, momentarily stunned as Sora pushed against him, and then he took control. He let his hands roam where they would, swallowed every sound that Sora released into his mouth, and lost himself in the overwhelming sensation of finally getting something that he'd wanted for as long as he could remember. 

"Well it's about time," a playful feminine voice interrupted, and the two boys jumped away from each other. Sora's face was bright red. "I wondered how long it would take you to make a move, Riku." 

"What?" Riku asked, mouth dropping open in surprise. 

"You knew Riku liked me?" Sora shrieked, flailing amusedly and looking incredibly unimpressed when Kairi laughed at him. "Why didn't you say something? And why aren't you mad at me for kissing him when you know I was—"

"I'm not stupid like you are, Sora," Kairi grinned, winking absurdly at Riku. "Axel was so obsessed with Roxas he kidnapped me! There had to have been something more than just friendship there. And if Roxas was with _him_ , then—"

"Axel and _Roxas_?" Sora squeaked. "Roxas is me! How could I not know?" 

"You wouldn't let yourself know," Riku said softly, and two pairs of eyes turned to him. "It doesn't matter now, not really. What matters is the future. Kairi..." 

"Don't worry about me, Riku," Kairi smiled gently. "I guess you could say that the world has finally righted itself. Mostly. I'm not going anywhere! I'm not letting something silly like my two best friends being gay for each other get in the way of how I feel being with you." 

"You really think...this is how things are meant to be?" Sora asked curiously, head cocked to the side as he stared at Kairi. "Me and Riku, not me and you?" 

"If I wasn't here, it's how things would have been," Kairi said sternly, eyes narrowing at Sora. "And it's you and Riku _and_ me, no matter what. Just because I won't be making out with one of you doesn't make me any less a part of our group, and if you try to exclude me from anything but that I won't let you forget it!" 

Riku chuckled and grabbed hold of Sora again, wrapping an arm around his friend's waist. "One sky, one destiny," he murmured softly, and placed a chaste kiss on Sora's temple. Sora blushed again, but grinned as well, and pulled Kairi over to them to complete the circle. Kairi wrapped an arm around him, and the other around Riku, and smiled softly up at both of them. 

Everything was right with the three of them, and Roxas...Roxas would be fine. Riku would look over him whenever he appeared, and one day—maybe tomorrow, maybe in another lifetime—things would come full circle for him too.


End file.
